Three men are sat in a bar discussing God and his profession.
"God must be a mechanical engineer,” says the first. “Just look at the joints in the human body."
“No,” say’s the second man. “God must be an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system."
“You’re both wrong,” says the third man. "God has to be a civil engineer.”
“Why’s that?” ask the other two men.
“Well who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?"
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him.
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess," said the frog.
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
“What is the matter?” the frog asked. “I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
"Look,” said the man. “I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool!"
इंजीनिरिंग का फार्म भरते हुए छात्र ने पास खड़े चौकीदार से पूंछा ………कैसा है ये कोलेज ???
बहुत बढ़िया है,
हमने भी यहीं से इन्जिनारिंग की है.
Chintu बस में खड़ा था..
ब्रेक लगी तो एक लड़की पर जा गिरा;
लड़की :- बत्तमीज़, क्या कर रहे हो ?
Chintu :- Engineering.. और आप ??.
एक इंजिनियर को जॉब नही मिली
तो उसने क्लिनिक खोला और बाहर लिखा
तीन सौ रूपये मे ईलाज करवाये
ईलाज नही हुआ तो एक हजार रूपये वापिस….
एक डॉक्टर ने सोचा कि एक हजार रूपये कमाने का अच्छा मौका है
वो क्लिनिक पर गया
और बोला
मुझे किसी भी चीज का स्वाद नही आता है
इंजिनियर : बॉक्स नं.२२ से दवा निकालो और ३ बूँद पिलाओ
नर्स ने पिला दी
एक इंजिनियर को जॉब नही मिली
तो उसने क्लिनिक खोला और बाहर लिखा
तीन सौ रूपये मे ईलाज करवाये
ईलाज नही हुआ तो एक हजार रूपये वापिस….
एक डॉक्टर ने सोचा कि एक हजार रूपये कमाने का अच्छा मौका है
वो क्लिनिक पर गया
और बोला
मुझे किसी भी चीज का स्वाद नही आता है
इंजिनियर : बॉक्स नं.२२ से दवा निकालो और ३ बूँद पिलाओ
नर्स ने पिला दी
इंजिनियर : ये लो तुम्हारी याददास्त भी वापस आ गई
लाओ तीन सौ रुपए…
इस बार डॉक्टर गुस्से में गया
मरीज(डॉक्टर) : मेरी नजर कम हो गई है
इंजीनियर : इसकी दवाई मेरे पास नहीं है। लो एक हजार रुपये।
मरीज(डॉक्टर) : यह तो पांच सौ का नोट है।
इंजीनियर : आ गई नजर। ला तीन सौ रुपये.. 
Nahi Ho Raha Tha,
Ek Din Uski Maa Usko Boli….
Maa:” Jaakar Janwar Ke Doctor Ko Dikha, To Hi
Theek Hoga..
Beta:” Areey Jaanwaro Ke Doctor Ko Kyu..???
.
.
Maa:” Roz Subah Murge Ki Tarah Uth Jata Hai,
Ghode Ki Tarah Bhag Ke Tution Par Jata Hai,
Sher Ki Tarah Class Mein Doston Ke Sath Masti
Karta Hai,
Suwar Ki Tarah Yahaan-Vahaan
Assignment Par Mooh Marta Hai,
Gadhe Ki Tarah Submission Karta Hai,
Ghar Aakar Sab Pe Kutte Ki Tarah
Bhokta Hai,
Raat Ko Ullu Ki Tarah Jag Ke Facebook Pe Chat
Karta Hai,
Bhains Ki Tarah So Jata Hai,
Aur Bhigi Billi Ki Tarah 40 Marks Lata Hai, Isliye..”
Ek Engineer Interview k liye gaya…
Boss:” batao wo kon si cheez hai jisk 2 tyre hain ??
.
.
Engineer:” Bike..
.
.
Boss:” nai HOnda Bike.. :p
.
.
Boss:” acha batao wo kon si cheez hai jis k 4 tyre hain ??
.
.
Engineer:” Car.. 
)
.
.
Boss:” nahi Toyota car.. 
.
.
Engineer:” ab tum mere sawal ka jawab do.. ??
.
.
.
.
“Itni si dibya duk duk karey.. chalta musafir bhi gir padey ??
.
.
Boss:” hahahahah Aankh.. )
.
.
.
Engineer:” nahii Saale… teri maa ki aankh.. :p 
( Aur le engineer se panga) :p
An Engineer, a priest, and a thief were each sentenced to death by guillotine.
They bring out the priest first, and he says "Please. Allow me to lie in the guillotine facing up, so that I might face towards God as I am about to join him."
The guards allow it, and place his head through the slot.
The guard pulls the lever and the blade comes down but stops just inches short of the priest's head. It's regarded as such a freak occurrence that the priest is pardoned and set free.
Next up is the thief.
“Heck, it worked for the priest. Put me in face up too," he says.
Again the guards allow it, and again they pull the lever.
The blade comes falling down, but again stops just short of the thief's neck. Like the priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the marvelously good turn of fortune.
Finally the engineer is brought out.
"If you don't mind, could you put me in facing up?" he asks.
The guards agree and place him in the machine.
The guard grabs a hold of the lever, but just before he can pull, the engineer points up and says:
"Oh hey, I think I see where the problem is..."
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